I'm a Truth Telling Oversharer

Light at the end of the dark hallway.

I’m a truth telling oversharer, it’s who God has asked me to be.  

I haven’t always been this way, the world told me to keep my secrets in the dark and I did for a very long time. I’ve fought who God asked me to be, I was listening to other voices instead of His. As a child I was told to be quiet, to not tell, grown men told me to keep secrets that were never mine to keep. The world didn’t want to hear when I tried to tell, they shut me up and told me to stay in the dark places that secrets live. Keeping secrets, being quiet and not having a voice was ingrained in me. People don’t want to hear the uncomfortable truth and that continued as I became an adult. The world told me not to share, that my story is private and personal, to keep it in the dark where it belongs, to not be an “oversharer”. Today, I refuse to listen, I reject what the world is telling me, I will not keep quiet, I have a voice and a story to tell. Today I will be obedient to who God has asked me to be and I will not be ashamed.

Every time I post a personal story I have a vulnerability hangover after and cringe at the thought of my story out there for all eyes to read. I have even pulled some of the very personal posts off my blog feeling as though I had overshared. It is something I have been struggling with a lot. I know how important it is to share my stories, and I know God is asking me to do it, still I fight Him. It feels vulnerable and scary and all I want to do is be quiet and not seen, I want to hide and protect myself. I don’t want to be someone who talks and writes about hard things, who stands in front of people baring her soul for all to see. Who am I to talk about these things? Who am I to share my story? Who am I to talk about God? Who am I to be brave? Who would want to read my testimony?

Often, I receive emails from readers sharing their stories with me after reading mine, I have had several readers tell me that I am the first person they’ve ever told their story to. I have had friends sitting at my kitchen table tell me their stories of trauma, often speaking the words for the first time in their life. What an absolute honor to be trusted with the gift of another person’s story and how freeing for them to finally release that secret. To know it was my honesty and vulnerability that allowed them to speak their truth out loud is incredible. I think that is why God wants me to be a truth telling oversharer, so that I can help others also be one. To build a community of people who speak their truth and shine a light on their shame.

Shame not only hides in the dark, but it also grows there until it is so large it consumes us. I have spent a lot of time learning about shame and understanding its psychological effects on me. Sociologist Brene Brown says “the four basic components of shame resilience are: recognizing shame and understanding its triggers, practicing critical awareness of the influences leading to shame, reaching out to others, and naming shame when it occurs.” She also says, “Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.”

If we shine a light on our shame, it loses its grip on us and we begin to walk in our true identity, the one God called us to walk in. Not the false identity the world gave us. That is exactly what I am doing here writing this piece. I am walking in the identity that God gave me and no longer being afraid of how the world sees me or who I offend or make uncomfortable.

One thing I have learned over the last couple of years is God grows us in the places we are the most afraid to grow and He turns our ashes into beauty. How better can I glorify God than by sharing my stories of rising up from the pit of hell, not by my own strength but by His. How does a child who statistically should have ended up drug addicted, dead or in jail grow up having hope and a normal life? Only by the hope of Jesus. I didn’t even know Him, but he knew me. I must share this, I need to, it bursts out of me, and I cannot keep it inside. Because if God was able to rescue me than He too can rescue you.

With gratitude,

Angie